Planning Your Life

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Many are under the impression that it is impossible to effectively “plan” your life but that is the furtherest thing from the truth. The reality is that if you want to get somewhere and/or accomplish something you must have a plan in place…your life is no different.

When approaching a problem, a situation or an obstacle it is imperative that you have a plan in place to get through it all. Your life’s plan is like a map for your life. In order for any plan to be successful you must be prepared to answer some questions openly and honestly. Your responses to the questions posed are to be utilized as your guide to navigate yourself to a desired goal.

Depending on the desired outcome your personal questions may be different from the next person’s but should be structured in a manner that if forces one to be completely honest with themselves. In writing a life plan it is best to ask yourself open-ended questions (like sentence prompts from 2nd grade) and allow your mind to absorb the question/statement in order to garner the most honest response.

Remember, your plan should be reflective of who you are and who you desire to become. Use action words, stay away from the word try, stay away from the word want and most important of all…be honest.

Below is a sample plan that I have used with clients over the years as a starting point for their life plans…

Life Plan

I am writing this because: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I see my life as: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When I look at myself I see: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I will change my life in the following ways: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I will work on the following things within myself: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In 1 months time will aspire to: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In 6 months time I will aspire to: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

In 1 years time I will aspire to: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

To deal with my anger better I will: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

To deal with my depression/sadness better I will: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The things that make me the most happy are: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The things that make me most sad are: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The things I love about my relationship/partner are: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I am: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I want to be: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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Experience vs. Perception

The most common misconception going around is the belief that you know yourself as well as others know you. The truth of the matter is that you cannot experience you so you really don’t know how you come across to those around you.

Now I know that sounded completely crazy but it really is true. Look at it this way, most people you encounter are experiencing you the only way that they can…from the OUTSIDE!!! You on the other hand are on the INSIDE and can only experience yourself from that particular angle. This is why when things you say or do are taken the wrong way you feel hurt, confusion and/or frustration. This is because you clearly knew what message you wanted to convey and you had the perception that your audience would understand and identify with your message. What REALLY happened was your audience experienced something completely different from what you perceived that they should have.

To fully understand yourself you must be willing to consciously remove yourself from each interaction and view it from the OUTSIDE – this will enable you to better understand what others are experiencing with you and that awareness will help you fully align your perception to their experience.

#LiveFully

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Carpe Diem

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Seize the day!!!

Sounds simple enough right? Then why is it so hard for us as individuals to simply live in the moment? People usually want to live in the moment but for some reason are unable to; this is because we let feelings like indecision, uncertainty and regret paralyze us. The easiest way to get around and conquer those negative thoughts is to push through them.

Humans have the uncanny ability to feel an issue before they really experience it. It’s like that little voice on intuition that nags at you before the big meeting or during that first date or at that BIG job interview. We have to learn to turn that voice down. You don’t want to cut it off completely because that is the same voice that warns us and keeps us safe. If we could just moderate the volume we could start on the road of self-awareness and understanding.

Your intuition was designed to guide you through perilous situations but the catch is that the voice will sound the alarm anytime you are doing something new. It’s a warning; though not all warnings are warranted.

Listen to your spirit, what is it telling you? Why is it delivering that message? Is it a message you need right at that moment? How will you process the message? These are simple enough questions that can be asked at any moment in which you feel unsure. If the situation warrants the warning; take heed. If the situation can be navigated with the usual amount of caution; proceed anyway.

Go forth and live the life you were destined to live!

Embrace your greatness!!

Seize the day!!!

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Deconstruction

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Deconstruction is defined as the analytical examination of something (such as a theory) often in order to reveal its inadequacy. Basically what that means is the act of tearing something apart to show what is really there (or isn’t there). Within your life this can be done in a myriad of different ways but before you reach for your hardhat, tool belt and work boots; take a moment to understand what it is you are looking for within the deconstruction process.

We all have had that moment in our lives in which we just don’t feel happy. It is at that moment that we decide a course of action in order to get our life back on track. We begin to look at what isn’t presently working versus what has worked in the past; with a sprinkling of wishful thinking. This is when deconstruction begins…

The deconstruction process is different for everyone though some questions regarding the situation(s) remain the same:

Who wronged you

Who lied to you

Who let you down and/or didn’t live up to your expectations

Notice the theme that is emerging? Too often we as individuals look to place the blame upon the shoulders of others when things aren’t going right in our lives instead of looking inward for a root cause.

Humans are funny like that – when things go right we want all the accolades but when something goes wrong we want someone else to take the fall.

Tune in at 6pm CST all this week to https://www.facebook.com/NappyGryl2013/  to discover some tips and insights on how to tackle the deconstruction process for all the avenues of your life in a healthy and beneficial fashion.

See you there…

Know Your Worth

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Self-worth, is a very tricky concept for those who have never learned to love self above all else. Self-worth and self-love go hand-in-hand. Your perception of your self is initially shaped and molded by those around you as you grow up. Then there comes a time in which you become the master of your destiny so to speak; meaning you are the only person that can define your self-worth.

The biggest mistake we make in determining and/or calculating our personal self-worth is the fact that we allow what others think of us externally to weigh heavily in our calculations. It’s almost like the entire world is a department store and each person has a price gun in which they can utilize the setting of their own personal price. That price you put upon yourself is your calculation of your self worth.

Where are you in the store of life? Are you in the discount bin, are you on the clearance rack, are you on the middle of the floor display with the highest price in the store, or are you mixed amongst the middle racks with a midline selling point?

There are many nations of people whose ancestors were sold at auction. Their flesh being peddled to the highest bidder. Will you continue to facilitate centuries of self loathing when setting your price?

Long gone are the days in which your value can be set by those around you! Embrace the greatness that is you and set your price accordingly! We live in a world in which we have evolved into valuing quantity over quality. Let’s get back to the old days of quality being paramount! Set your price point and stick to it! Because nobody values you like you.

If you continue to undervalue and thus effectively underpricing your self to the world you shall forever remain on clearance.

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Live The Love (Marriage Series pt. 5)

How does one live the love? How do you go about living your day today in, with and for something that is purely emotional? Or is it?

When you fall in love with someone ideally you fall in love with everything about them. You fall in love with their flaws, strengths, beauty, intelligence, emotional fortitude and most of all their heart. Well that’s what most of us wish for.

Living the love is quite simple. When you love yourself you can openly and honestly love another person. Upon entering any relationship both parties should be willing to be open about their past; their past loves, their past heartbreaks, their past joys and their past needs. When you open yourself to love you then are open to receive love.

A marriage is the joining of two people in what is supposed to be a lifelong union. Far too many times we fall prey to loving out of convenience. We succumb to the appeal of loving for profit. The bottom line is in today’s society it has become acceptable to constantly be on the come up.

Learn that which makes you happy. Understand that which gives you joy. Embrace that which makes your soul soar.